Pardon this rant.
I've written three chapters in the past two days.
Now, don't get me wrong, I don't think that's horrible, but I don't feel so happy about. When I broke 20k, I thought over and over, I only have 30k left! That's easy!
But now I'm really in the mire of the story. These chapters are more and more important as the book progresses. A few days ago, it really, really switched to the action. These pieces need to be just right. Now, looking at my almost 34k work, I think, how will I finish the next 16k?!?
It's so close. I'm so close! But, my writer's panic is flaring up (a real condition, I'd wager!). What if it's not good enough? What if it's not as good as before? What if NONE of it's good! (Cue exit of hair follicles).
I know I am probably psyching myself out. I know my As-written-editors are clawing at me to get the next chapters.
Just gotta breathe. Just gotta finish.
Fun Fact: This will be my first finished for-pleasure work since 2005. I have well over a dozen beginnings of other stories, but I've really stuck with this one. Almost, almost to the end. Just gotta breathe!
This is my place to vent and extrapolate on personal matters. I may also talk about my life as an indie writer. For strictly release information, please click "here".
Yes, I know this feeling you describe quite, quite well. I wish I could say I didn't have a clue what you're taking about here...
ReplyDeleteThe first part of a novel can feel so fun, meeting the characters, seeing things take shape, you feel like you could write forever, or perhaps go so fast that you finish the whole thing in a matter of days.
And then you hit that middle part. Suddenly what felt fun is more like work. You get bogged down in trying to develop all the "neat" little plot-lines you started. The characters and dialogue no longer seem fun and quirky, now they're obnoxious, boring, one dimensional.
But that's just writing. It's hard damn work. But you suffer through the middle stuff, and slowly but surely you make progress. Next thing you know, there's only a few k words left and you're racing to the finish line! ...or hobbling, as the case may be.
Good luck!
An E-Publisher's Manifesto
Thanks for your support, Aaron! Looking back today, it doesn't seem as inadequate as it did when I was writing it. Of course, it will go through the editing grinder so if it's actually awful, it will be picked out.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad I have a friend to see me through!