The Proverbial

There is a lot of upheaval going on in my general vicinity right now. Like, a lot. If someone were to ask me how my life was going, I would say roughly the following:

My life is like a pinwheel. It is full of bright and beautiful colors that quiver with unrealized motion. When I want my life to move forward, I merely give a gentle breath and set the colors in motion, dazzling the eyes.

Except, someone came along and decided that my pinwheel wasn't efficient enough. So while I wasn't looking, they replaced it with dun-colored electric fan. They glued the fan into the socket and then broke the off switch so it is permanently stuck on high. So my life just keeps moving forward, and without the colors, so it is a monotonous blur of forgotten moments.

And then there's a man, a very large man. Maybe he is a trucker. He's running a long run from the west coast to the east coast. He's behind schedule. He's cutting corners left and right, speeding on the highway when his cab radar says there aren't any cops around.

Last night that man stayed in a crappy motel. They didn't offer breakfast service. The town was a hole, so on the way out he got breakfast at Taco Bell. He was super hungry (he missed dinner the night before, because of the late run he drove far into the night and collapsed in his crappy motel before eating.) So he's starving and he eats about eight bean burritos for breakfast.

But then he's driving and he's still hungry and he needs gas. So he stops at a grimy trucking station. They have sandwiches on a table with the expiration dates ripped off. They are buy 1 get 2 free. He's low on cash and that seems like a great deal so he gets 3 egg salad sandwiches of questionable integrity.

He eats them all in a hurry and washes them down with a couple of cans of Red Bull. Then about an hour later he decides he's not feeling so great. In fact, his stomach is probably going to explode. So he pulls off the highway yet again.

He finds a meadow, and no one is around. The only thing in the meadow is a dun-colored electric fan that is stuck on high. The only clear place is directly behind it.

So he runs over and pops a squat. The mess gets everywhere.

That's about my life right now.

You?