Saturday, April 30, 2011

Wind... POWAH!

I said I was going to talk Friday about language, but I've decided to put that off for a bit. I'd like to share a strange happening from last Wednesday, instead.

For those not in the know, my "day job" is pizza delivery driver. With my trusty sidekick (an '06 manual Chevy Aveo), we Scooby-Doo all over town with delicious pies for hungry customers.

The weather is a little of a pain for me. I've slid off the roads (incredibly lucky, not INTO anything yet). Once I almost slid into a parked cop car, even though I was only driving 10mph and started breaking over 500 feet away. I've been snowed into my street. If I counted up all the degrees I've been spun on ice, it's well over 1,000 (just this last winter!).

Regardless, I love Riley (sidekick!). He's my baby.

But, I'm not here to talk about Riley. I'm going to talk about weather, and the absolute ridiculousness of 70mph winds.

When you're sitting in a concrete building, it's easy to ignore the wind outside. Unless I look out the window, I don't even have any idea it's blowing.

On Wednesday, delivery in hand, I called out to the manager on duty. (Company policy.) The bag was propped on my right arm, against my body as I pushed open the door with my left.

Then the wind decided to give me a little help.

It ripped the door away from my hand, slamming it against the side of the building with an enormous cracking sound that made me jump sideways. My first thought was, "Holy crap, the bulletproof glass just shattered."

Actually, the wind yanked the door so hard back, it sheared the heads off the screws in the hinges. Only the top hinges, though. The door started to tilt in a fall and I lunged forward to grab it, to prevent further damage. Then I just sort of stared at my manager.

"I didn't do it," I offered, uselessly.

I'm not in any trouble, which is great (also, it couldn't really have been avoided ANYWAY :P) But it was really crazy to find the screw heads later. They had to drill out the screw bodies as they were still in the slots, and replace the screws (obviously). I think the hinge is bent crooked though, because as of Friday, the door still doesn't close quite right.

There has been a pretty large rash of crazy weather lately. Earthquakes, tornadoes, flooding, high winds, et cetera. I know spring brings about some of it, but honestly, coupled with this winter, it's some of the worst weather I've seen, basically ever.

Of course, this brings up questions of things like the Butterfly Effect, divine intervention, et al. I actually sort of believe in the BE, but not so much that a butterfly's wings cause tsunamis as the fact we are blowing a whole lot of crap up half a world away. All that force and wind has to go somewhere, right? Are we going to eventually blow ourselves off the map by causing a change in the weather patterns? What do you all think? Am I just blowing smoke up my own chimney?


  1. I thought this was going somewhere else completely, more to do with the Areo rolling helplessly in the 70 MPH winds than the door slamming into the side of the building. But at least Riley's ok. I have two words for an Areo in winter, even in Texas: snow tires.

    Three things we should consider: there isn't a lot of recorded history, compared with the life of the earth so far - even if you're a creationist; the records we do have point to a so far unending cycle of heating and cooling of the earth and its atmosphere, and lastly, the rate of increase recently, apparently driven by human endeavor, is higher than we think it has been in the past. And higher temps lead to more severe weather. Personally, it seems to me that's the BE in action, but I'm no expert.
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. @Tony: Sometimes I meander to my point, sorry ^^;

    Is an Areo a car? I have a Aveo. Not to be confused with Oreo! Or Avian (that's water, also birds!) Words are fun.