Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Excuses

I will probably be the first one to tell you - I hate excuses. I would much rather the person just say they are sorry for something they've done then try to tell me all the extenuating circumstances.

But, to make a rule there have to be exceptions. (Or so someone once gravely informed me.) If the excuse is something that will continue to cause problems in the future, I think it's better to know.

The fact is, "Frigid" will not be releasing as scheduled. It _will_ release, just not on time. I'm hoping before this month ends. After that, IH will be changing over to a 2-month release schedule (from it's current 1-month schedule).

I've had a number of major life bombs dropped on me recently. Certainly not the least is that my significant other will soon be jobless. He is the assistant manager of a well-known national brand, but the landlord for his store up and decided he is refusing to renew the lease. It's not only his store, a number of landlords seem to have ganged up on his company. His is not the only store that is closing, nor is it the only one in our area. Probably the worst part about this is that his store was actually doing well and under his management! About 6-7 weeks ago, his store manager was promoted and he has been running the store alone, (still on an assistant manager's salary, even!) and blew away the upper management with his stellar numbers and efficiency. It makes the fall all that harder.

The reality is that I rely on him a lot (probably too much). He pays the mortgage for HIS house, the utilities... I pretty much use my measly 6k/year income to skate by on my bills, and when I catch a break, take us out for dinner or stock up the pantry once in awhile. (Does anyone even say pantry anymore?)

I am proud of where the IH has come so far, and I am making definite inroads into indie publishing, but I am not growing at a life-sustaining rate and I need to make some hard decisions.

I don't need a lot to survive - only about $500/month for MY personal bills. I am making about $10/month with my writing, so far. With his looming joblessness, I definitely need more coming in.

Don't get me wrong - I have been looking for a better-paying job for upwards of 2 months.

There. Is. Nothing. In. Ohio.

Smart people leave Ohio. I did once and did very well for myself. But, I came back. And now I find I'm basically back to where I started before I left. Minus the debt I paid off while I was gone (but the new debt is growing, sigh.) I really, really, really want to leave again. It's a lot harder when it's not just you, but you have someone else very important to you that has to be situated, also.

If this wasn't enough for you, I was also in a biking (bicycle, not motorcycle) accident recently and kissed the pavement with my right hand (THANKFULLY not broken or fractured, just very, very contussed) and also with my head. (No helmet, FTW.)

Hospital bills I know I won't be able to afford and a concussion later, here I am. Slightly disoriented, unable to cool off while sitting directly in front of a full-blast AC and painfully typing this to you.

Thankfully the road rash on my hand, head and leg aren't too bad. But they are pretty colors.

So to recap: homelessness looming, bike accident, changed release schedule and #6 will be late.

And, for what it's worth:

I am very sorry.

5 comments:

  1. If it makes you feel better, I still say pantry.

    I hear ya with the real life stuff. Thankfully, I'm not injured. But work and school is a real killer.

    I also want to know that I really look up to you as a writer. You're a cool person, JE, and I like what you've done with the Icarus Helix. It's everything I want my series to be, except real.

    Maybe I shouldn't be commenting when it's this late. I start saying weird things. True, but weird.

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  2. JE,

    Sorry to hear about the recent calamity. I don't think anyone is going to begrudge you cutting back on writing so you can take care of life in the real world. Just don't stop completely. :)

    Best of luck getting things squared away again. I would imagine if your lesser half got such glowing results when he was in charge, he ought to be able to find another good job before too long. Hopefully.

    Michael Kingswood

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  3. You are the only one pushing yourself, and I know exactly how you feel. It's like a failure when a deadline comes and goes with nothing to show for it. BUT life does intrude sometimes... so take the time you need--your work will thank you for it. And so will your poor head, leg and hand... we'll still be here!

    XOXOXO

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  4. My heart goes out to you. After reading this, it stayed in my mind all day. I know it sometimes feels that the two are inseparable, but your life comes first, THEN your craft. That's a hard thing for many of us writers to grasp since our words come from within us. They ARE us. But it's important to step back and chill, sometimes. I am way older than you, and I am still learning how.

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  5. Hey there!

    First off, thank God you're OK. I must have written this comment 5 times now, because for some reason my blogger keeps kicking me out.

    My hometown is very similar in terms of economy. There is a surplus of people looking for work in a climate with no jobs. The last I heard, we were nearing 20% unemployment. Ouch.

    I wish you the best! Take care and heal up, but don't give up writing. :-)

    Best,

    Nick

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