Monday, May 30, 2011

It's That Hot

You know how I kind of whine a lot about the weather? Like, how we get blasted with snow and my poor car careens off the road while pirouetting down a hill? Or rain 49/56 days? Or wind that blows my dog across the yard while he's trying to do his business?


It seems like Ohio has decided to entirely skip Spring this year. Not only that, but I think we skipped the majority of summer and went straight to the dog days.

I won't try to explain the way I wade while I'm walking, or how high the humidity is (Hint: it rains EVERYDAY!... and then immediately evaporates back into humidity...)

I started keeping tabs with my internal thermometer a few years ago. Today was a record high - a hobojillion degrees! That's quite a few more hobos higher than is understandably comfortable for me. I think I prefer weather in the mid 70's.

My black lab/border collie mutt went swimming for the first time yesterday. Besides doing the best impression of a snorting submarine I've ever seen, it was a lot of fun. All of his toes are webbed and I've been itching to try him out. I'm proud to say he's an excellent swimmer (better than me :P). The death-defying leaps he takes off the shore and into the water are unmatched. He won't (yet) jump from the dock. He has a few height issues. I may or may not have pushed him off the dock once to try and show him there was nothing to worry about. He may or may not have seriously dug his claws in the second time it may or may not have been attempted.

He also did this funny thing where he would bite the lake. When his paddling would splash, he would attack the splashes. But sometimes, he would just... bite the lake! I don't know how to explain it better. I caught him head on a few times when he did this. He would bite down, get a big mouthful, and then it would pour wildly out the sides of his mouth.

He swam directly to me a number of times (I'm like his safety blanket). He was remarkably calm if I put both hands under his chest. He would float without moving. If I took my hands away, he would motorboat away.

I received a truly legendary collection of scratches. I couldn't see his flailing legs under the water and he nicked me few times, pretty good. When I was out where I couldn't touch, and he was motorboating with that weird growl/snort submarine noise, flailing with all four legs and me unable to support him AND laughing... well, I think I almost drowned, but it was totally worth it. I'd do it again in a heartbeat because I haven't laughed that hard in ages! And laughter like that is contagious, so everyone else was laughing also.

Except the dog. He was motorboating.

And that is how we try to cool off on hobojillion degree days.

The End.

P.S: Because it's ridiculously hot (a hobojillion degrees!) and we only have a window AC unit that keeps the one room cool, I'm in here on my fiance's laptop. Sadly, it's not my computer. Or my room. Also, there is no MS suite on this computer, so I can't work on IH! The only good news is that I can still work on one of my other projects to the left, so I'm putting in some time on "Yellow House" tonight. It's not actually called "Yellow House" anymore, but I"m keeping the title hush-hush for now.

The Real End.


  1. Hobojillion!!! (I just wanted to say, write it. That's going to be my new word for the day ;) )

  2. Hey JE,

    You should bundle your Icarus Helix books 1-3 into one volume and try selling it at 2.99 to take advantage of the better royalty. All you really need is a cover! (You obviously still keep the separate books on sale as well)



  3. JE: great post! I love the snorting sub and hobojillian - though I'm not the first :(

    We still gonna use Google Docs on not now Yellow House?

  4. LOL sounds like he had fun, at least--the scratches are so worth it--bet he slept like a baby... ;)
    And I WISH it was a hobojillian degrees--spring here is wet and cold... I'm ready for the heat!

  5. @Peter: Hobojillion is a great word and I urge you to use it whenever possible!

    @Aaron: Thanks for stopping by! The problem with that is that each episode is $.99. If I bundle 3 for $2.99, they could have bought them separately for $2.97. I know it's not much of a difference, but where is the value? Rest assured, I have bundling plans in the future, though :)

    @Tony: Better late than never :) Yes, Not-Yellow-House-Anymore is still up on Google Docs!

    @Patti: Yes, it really wears him out! He loves it though :) Be careful what you wish for, a hobojillion degrees is quite hot...

  6. HAHAHA, that's awesome about your dog. My dog HATES the water until you get him in there. Then he'll swim back to you and be happy as can be.

    And I agree that hobojillion is an awesome word.

    And speaking of the weather, we were moving from about 8 am to 11:30 pm at night on Monday, and the temperature was about 90 degrees. ABSOLUTELY HORRIBLE. LOL.

    I have since showered and cooled off and had a day to put it all in the past. I'm happy. Most of my muscles have regained movement. All things are good over here. LOL.

    How about the first week of August for the blog tour btw? Would that be cool? And if so, was it Wednesday?

    Let me know what you think.



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